Presbyopic Myopia
Saturday, February 15, 2003
Imagine the Nerve of Common People to Question Them!
It's time for the saber rattlers to take notice! They are part of the "Old World" (to paraphrase Donald Rumsfeld), the "New World" has given a resounding NO to this war! By the way, we haven't heard much from the Saber Rattlers today. But, don't worry they'll be back, just keep your ears open.
Friday, February 14, 2003
Bad Day for Saber Rattling
I guess it's to be expected, but certainly Valentine's Day is not a good day to promote war and devastation. Very little saber rattling going on today. Maybe the testosterone is taking the day off. See ya tomorrow!
Thursday, February 13, 2003
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. Japan (Really? Pre-emptive strike against North Korea if they even THINK about attacking)
2. North Korea (we can strike American interests anywhere in the world)
3. Iraq (we have missils)
4. USA (the "moment of truth" is at hand)
5. Israel (Government calls up reservists and tells people to stock up on food and water)
It's getting crowded up here! Many are called, few are chosen.
Wednesday, February 12, 2003
They're Gonna Die Anyway, Why Not Now?
Mr. Blair make a moral argument for war. Let's see if I have this right. Our sanctions against Iraq are going to kill lots of innocent people over the next year. Let's just kill a lot of them now, and get it over with. Sort of like killing them for their own good.
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. India (Oh, how phallic the picture looks. That should help your ego!)
2. USA (we don't really care what NATO does)
3. UK (still on alert at the airport)
4. Israel (they really deserve a higher ranking, but we have so many overachievers!)
5. Pakistan (well...they really haven't rattled their saber lately, but with India at the top of the list, we can feel it coming)
Tuesday, February 11, 2003
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. Al-Qaeda (It's ok for Muslims to partner with the "socialist apostates" of Saddam's Iraq to defeat the worshippers of Satan)
2. USA (no slowdown)
3. UK (troops on alert at Heathrow)
4 India & Pakistan (tie, yes y'all are still important!)
Missing in Action: North Korea (what's up with that, Kim Jong Il?)
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. USA (We're goin' to war whether you like it or not!)
2. UK (Tanks and troops at Heathrow)
3. Israel (Closes West Bank and Gaza, because it's easier to shoot fish in a barrel)
4. India & Pakistan (tie, they both expel each other's diplomats, welcome back guys!)
British troops at Heathrow airport. They're going to fly the invasion forces on commercial flights! It's a cost-cutting measure. It will be hell at the baggage claim, though, because the luggage will all look the same.
Monday, February 10, 2003
Maybe We Should Start a 'B' List
Ivory Coast rebel leader Guillaume Soro says, "They shouldn't push us too far." If only he had a nuke!
Rumsfeld: NATO Differences "Will Not Delay War"
He'd rather destroy NATO, than to wait on destroying Iraq.
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. USA (again, accepting for the Bush adminstration, Donald Rumsfeld)
2. Israel ("We will unilaterally retaliate...")
3. United Kingdom (once proud and mighty super-power trying to get it up one more time)
4. North Korea ("Hey, somebody pay attention to me!")
5. Iran (announces will begin production of weapons grade materials)
Honorable mention: India & Pakistan (you can't have one of them in the top 5 without the other. Don't worry guys, you're still tied)
This Is Gonna Move 'Em Down There with Costa Rica!
Germany, France, and Belgium (by the way the name Belgium means war-like) have created a crisis in NATO by blocking the start of planning for coming to Turkey's defense in case Baghdad launches missel attacks against it. Put them at the bottom of the list!
Bottom Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
5. Greenland (do they even have a military?)
4. Germany (after WWII we neutered them, and now they don't even want to help)
3. France ("ahh, but our women smell so good!")
2. Belgium (what's in a name?)
1. Costa Rica (no, they really don't have a military!)
Sunday, February 09, 2003
Leave It to Ariel
Israel gets the first post, but it sounds too much like Sharon is just copying Bush for us to move Israel up in the rankings. Better luck next time, but keep trying!
Top Five Saber Rattlers as of Posting Time
1. USA (Accepting for the Bush administration, Donald Rumsfeld)
2. North Korea (sorry guys, your sabers just aren't big enough)
3. Israel (perennial Top Five member)
4. India & Pakistan (tie - We can't put one ahead of the other, because they'll go nuclear trying to outdo each other)
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